"All of you, none of me"
Scripture to follow:
Proverbs 31:25-31
Luke 9:23
1 John 4:8
One thing I know about human nature is it comes with an innate desire to be seen. We want to be known, recognized, and appreciated. There’s almost a desperation for it. I sit every day with people who can draw their deepest wounds back to a feeling of rejection and dismissal. I have carried those wounds myself. So it’s encouraging when we see scripture like Proverbs 31 and hear phrases like “she shall rejoice in time to come.”
But if you’re anything like me, the rest of this passage can feel overwhelming. It’s easy to read it as a list of requirements for being a good woman. As a prerequisite for getting the goodness held within the passages. The problem is, if we are looking at this scripture as list of requirements, I don’t know anyone who can uphold them consistently. I don’t know about you, but I look at the list of characteristics that precede all of the praise and rejoicing, and honestly, it feels like a lot.
Maybe I can work hard enough to be some of those things sometimes. But every day? Open my mouth and wisdom and kindness come out. Look after my household well. Resist idleness.
If I’m reading myself into this passage, I start focusing more on my abilities or lack thereof, and it begins to leave a lot of room for human nature to skew the interpretation. Because what happens when we are not met with a joyful outcome from our efforts? When life is still hard in the middle of our trying, and no one is rising up to call us blessed or give us praise? My inner monologue starts to sound like “Great, another day where I didn’t live up to the standard. No wonder no one appreciates me. No wonder I’m being looked over. I’m failing.” Or more often it sounds a little like this “What’s wrong with them that they don’t appreciate me. Can’t they see everything I’m doing to be the best I can be? Clearly there is something wrong with them”.
Basically, I start to see myself through one of two lenses. Either I’m forgetting the worth I have inherited as the daughter of a King, or my pride has taken over for what I feel I deserve and I’m becoming resentful. I fall into the trap of Karmic expectation. And if there’s one thing there isn’t room for in the gospel, it’s karma.
But what about when I don’t read myself into this scripture? What instead I read Christ into it? When I read His word looking for Him instead of me, I start to see traits that once felt overwhelming begin to look a whole lot like the fruits of the Spirit. They begin to all point back to Jesus. No doubt, there are promises for us within this passage, but we should be careful not to look at this as a resume to accomplish, rather than a daily process of sanctification. You see before I am a Proverbs 31 woman, I am a creation of God. Meaning, my first identity is not the woman I can be, but instead in being a creature made after God’s own image. When we, through our own free will, decide to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, the transformation process cannot begin until we make the conscious decision to deny ourselves and acknowledge that becoming more of who we are is secondary to understanding who He wants us to be.
Luke 9:23 says “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me.” So maybe denying myself means I become just as desperate for others to see the image of Jesus as I am for them to see me. In the laying down of myself, is it enough if the only one who sees me is God? If the parts of me that are noticed, if any at all, are all of Him and none of me? Or do I strive to fulfill traits like the Proverbs 31 woman because I believe there is blessing and praise to be gained for myself that will be more fulfilling than simply bringing glory to God?
But here’s the thing. We serve a loving God. My greatest comfort is in knowing, He is love. We see that in 1 John 4:8. Scripture references over and over how much we are loved by Him. So much so that He gave His son so we would never be separated from that love. If I trust in Him as Lord and believe that He is love as he says He is, do I not trust Him enough to handle the fulfillment of my heart?
If I simply obey the call to fear the Lord, do I trust Him to handle the promise that comes with the rest of that verse? Even if it doesn’t come as immediately as I feel it should, or from the people I wish it would come from. Is it enough to know that just like this scripture says a husband will call his wife blessed and praise her, that God lavishes over those who are a part of his kingdom and looks after us as a groom does for his bride? So even if I never hear a word of praise here on earth, I know that He sees me, and He loves me, and can I let that be enough and trust Him to handle the rest? Beloved, as we take time to look at this scripture in another light, let us remember, that because He is so good, if are motives are to seek Him first, He is faithful to meet us where we’re at, sustain us with what we need to grow, and work things out for both His glory and our good.
Basically, I start to see myself through one of two lenses. Either I’m forgetting the worth I have inherited as the daughter of a King, or my pride has taken over for what I feel I deserve and I’m becoming resentful. I fall into the trap of Karmic expectation. And if there’s one thing there isn’t room for in the gospel, it’s karma.
But what about when I don’t read myself into this scripture? What instead I read Christ into it? When I read His word looking for Him instead of me, I start to see traits that once felt overwhelming begin to look a whole lot like the fruits of the Spirit. They begin to all point back to Jesus. No doubt, there are promises for us within this passage, but we should be careful not to look at this as a resume to accomplish, rather than a daily process of sanctification. You see before I am a Proverbs 31 woman, I am a creation of God. Meaning, my first identity is not the woman I can be, but instead in being a creature made after God’s own image. When we, through our own free will, decide to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, the transformation process cannot begin until we make the conscious decision to deny ourselves and acknowledge that becoming more of who we are is secondary to understanding who He wants us to be.
Luke 9:23 says “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me.” So maybe denying myself means I become just as desperate for others to see the image of Jesus as I am for them to see me. In the laying down of myself, is it enough if the only one who sees me is God? If the parts of me that are noticed, if any at all, are all of Him and none of me? Or do I strive to fulfill traits like the Proverbs 31 woman because I believe there is blessing and praise to be gained for myself that will be more fulfilling than simply bringing glory to God?
But here’s the thing. We serve a loving God. My greatest comfort is in knowing, He is love. We see that in 1 John 4:8. Scripture references over and over how much we are loved by Him. So much so that He gave His son so we would never be separated from that love. If I trust in Him as Lord and believe that He is love as he says He is, do I not trust Him enough to handle the fulfillment of my heart?
If I simply obey the call to fear the Lord, do I trust Him to handle the promise that comes with the rest of that verse? Even if it doesn’t come as immediately as I feel it should, or from the people I wish it would come from. Is it enough to know that just like this scripture says a husband will call his wife blessed and praise her, that God lavishes over those who are a part of his kingdom and looks after us as a groom does for his bride? So even if I never hear a word of praise here on earth, I know that He sees me, and He loves me, and can I let that be enough and trust Him to handle the rest? Beloved, as we take time to look at this scripture in another light, let us remember, that because He is so good, if are motives are to seek Him first, He is faithful to meet us where we’re at, sustain us with what we need to grow, and work things out for both His glory and our good.
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